A Fistfull of Adenas

[spudnik]

((new tale, epic saga, log of each day's events as they unfold - from an orc's point of view))

Me awakens in paagrio temple and sees gremlins like ants surrounding me. gremlins no scare big orc. me ask great shaman with poofy red hair about what gremlins doing in temple. she say "what am i book? kill them and i give you present."

me say okie dokie and immediately ORC SMASH tiny puny gremlins into finely ground liverwurst.

out pop small blue gem. me take and give to orc with poofy hair and she give orc some pills. bleh orc HATES pills. me try to refuse but get shoved in pocket anyway. poop to this then. orc OUTTA HERE!!

me find silly guy in orc village named newbie. orc start chuckling. me ask who are you?

newbie say "what are you? new?" me say yes. me new. new orc in big orc town. newbie only say here have shots and again pills gets shoved in my pocket. me agitated about now. ready to ORC SMASH newbie face. me decide not good idea. newbie have bodyguards all over the place.

so me go ask many people if any quest i can do to get some adenas. one magic orc lady with real nice hair and no stinky smelly body say "go kill goblins". me say "are they same as gremlins?" she say "no way jose" and me wonder who is this Jose guy.

so me go slay many gremlins and now knuckles is startin to hurt! me ask weapons guy if have any better weapons for cheap; him say "yeah buddy but not cheap" and sure enough i can get good stuff but i gots no adenas enough to pay for it.

so me say O.K. and walk out door. me scratch head and wonder how to get some better money cause quests are not payin the big one. suddenly this guy named Manor tells this other dwarfie "Thanks for doin business!" and dwarfie just vanishes!!! wow!! magic dwarf me never see. me ask manor guy "who are you?" manor guy say "seeds give money" and nothin else.

me wonder if he some sort of parrot.

so me have enough for his harvester and some funny blue seeds. manor guy tells me use the seeds on the white monsters.

well i never hunt anything less!! and so me start out. me feel like Jack. maybe me meet guy with cow for sale and me can finally eats somethin cause me is HONGRY!

well me hunts all the imps my knuckles can stand and finally comes weary into town. me have so many soulstones me nearly spill em all carryin em back. WOW! me get big bucks for them and me go right away to get new fists.

spent all adenas and still have pouch of seeds. alright, well maybe me can hunt some monsters for seeds. me wonders what will happens when seds grow in monster bellies. maybe grow trees? me not know. me find wolfmans and begin SMASHIN heads and bustin chops and sowin seeds. well first wolfman me plants seed on dies and suddenly some red stuff come from neck. me wonder what the heck is goin on!!

me grab harvester and get 3 big fruity things. wow 3for1! me feel like pizza now.

me plant and kill and reap over and over till me feels ears tingling.

ugh. me know this means time for stop. me make small bed and sleep for a while.

(( more to follow))

[spudnik]

me huntin werewolves and bats. me bustin heads and takin teeth. me finally 18 and thirstin for action on a larger scale.

me go to gludin, city of humans. blah, pathetic if ya ask me. stone wall no thicker than bamboo.

if humans want only protection from rain then fine. me focus on other things at the moment. like wheres the manor guy? and wheres the orc tribe? aha!! me find. no worries.

me ask to become monk. chief say big no-no. first 19, then quest, then 20, then monk.

me say phooey.

me go find more seeds from manor guy; him say these new ones give strange valuable blue ore called Oriharukon.

me not pronounce it so good. who cares.

after selling all the varnish from last seeds me take anything that not make orc dizzy.

orc take a thousand seeds and feel like somethin to prove. manor guy look at me queer.

outside is bears and lizardmans and ... oh NOES! the VUKU! me know by reputation and smell. me smell them from far away. orc smell sense is keen like that.

clutching cestus me NAIL them dum vuku as lots runs away. me reap again 3:1 on them. suddenly another orc come from nearly nowhere. him say him clan is better'n my clan. me say phooey to that. but me no fool. me knows exactly how to deal with unsuspecting noobs.

me let him swing and swing and shoot, and finally me die. yes. sad day for me, but things get much better.

lady chaille make persecutor die. lady persianna make him very affraid. me think this guy leave me alone for long time.

after orc resurrected, orc have different outlook on life; now me not take lives so rashly. somethin always come from death. profit, and more death. now orc careful not to make next death my own.

orc hunt, and hunt, and hunt, until fists so weak. orc can only take so much. maybe one more lizardman ...

me is running, running, white shots goes off and BAM! orc smash face of lizardman and then orc feel so much more powerful. orc now 20 and will show that crazy chief me no slouch.

me start quest in orc village. fly to frozen waterfalls and kill stuff. then run around in gludin killin more lizards. me on a buzz. me not know if it strange buzz from so much death, or simply runnin on empty, but me poppin potions left right and center stayin alive and killin all the monsters chief wants. me no slouch.

takes a bit of time, but again me runs to orc chief and ask to be monk. Chief agrees, me no slouch. he make mark on my shoulder. it say MONK in big orc letters. me not care if it say JEW at this point. me so happy!

clan brothers all celebrate and dark elf Yanduin say stealthily to me that him know where i get some good armor for monk. me intrigued. him say it in gludio, hunting more lizards. me break smile. and wind. yanduin grossed out, me only make laughter and agree to go to gludio.

well we huntin and huntin, get the blood for the dwarf. then the legs. me wonders what this dwarf is up to. him makes armor from legs and blood? sounds funky.

finally the last leg is got. in a blurr, me see yanduin rocket into town and me right behind him.

wolf totem good for somethin finally.

me grab the armor from the dwarf and feel real proud. it has nice blue fringes, and very comfortable. orc run real fast in this. oh yes. real fast.

anyway, me huntin now in dion; some clan brothers give orc congratulations at race track. one give me new fists! him nice darkelf. wears green pants. little blue ball over him head makin funny noises.

now in Cruma tower; bustin heads, breakin teeth, takin names. no seeds for now. me tired of that.

seems like orc slay only a handful of eyeballs and ants and whatnot and already me 24. wow time flyin! me go to orc guild in dion; prefect tell me i can learn new skill called Blaster. blaster need Focus.

me say "me not have much to use as it is buddy, peabreains only can focus so much then drift."

him say "what?"

me roll eyes. "get on with it!"

him train me how to focus, then blast. me go try it on a bugbear; me send ball of wind into face so fast it knocks bugbears socks off. me REALLY impressed. this BIG improvement over stunning fist.

(( more to follow ))

[korrupt]

haha lovin it so far, keep going

[Sithlyn]

This has me rolling at 5:19am. Sometimes I really hate 12hr shifts.

Gogo Spudnik!!

Now I'm in need of the more that follows.

[spudnik]

Me huntin in Cruma swamp, me smack up a million bugs and fist is covered in bug guts, finally me pop healing potion. all those bugs drops herbs and helps restore orc health and mana. even some make orc much stronger. orc bustin out the moves on these turds, breakin faces and takin names. BAM windball to face, BAM uppercut make bug pick up teeth with broken fingers.

finally me level 28. me strong, but blue light armor not so good as they said on the package. it say +3 evasion - orc not evade anything. orc get CRIT on more than hit on. so orc ask pretty allannalkolarae to trade it for the heavy stuff. allanna finds a suit of heavy, and haul it over to me. me trade it and now look like blob of blue on then otherwise green swampy background. this not picturesque. orc must find some good place to hunt. bugs make too much green mess.

after takin fists to get cleaned by pro dwarfie artisan, me ask artisan where to hunt. artisan only look at me funny. me not have to take this. me strut away. hold nose high like some foul odour (me?) make nose hurt.

of course me walk into the Monument to Heroes. it break orc nose. after all, it made of solid cement! me put bandaid on nose, and now only need a helmet to be pro football linebacker. me just wander around, and eventually the road stops at this foggy place called execution ground. me ask clannies if it good killin, clannies all say YEAH!! so me start whackin.

BAM! windball to face! BAM!! uppercut and knock out all teeth. it is skeleton and me know it not that hard to make teeth broke off on skeleton. me not feel a big accomplishment.

me see big old brown tree with ugly face. me just think "I had enough huntin for today, me take nap under tree" and me find nice comfy spot under tree with no leaves and lie down.

suddenly, tree SMACK me.

after moment of daze passes, me notice tree is enchanted. alright, me bust a move on trees now eh? no more arborism for old orc. me shout ME PAVE OVER YOU OLD DEAD TREES!!!

and me hear ghoul giggling in back of me.

WHAT! ghoul not supposed to giggle. after me done punchin tree to death, me blast Ghoul retro style. STUN! ORC SMASH and finally ghoul down.

stupid ghoul.

me feel like killin a lot now. so me go bananas on ghouls, strains, trees, anything that cross orc path. no seeds, just shots. me blow nearly 30k shots and then orc a little dizzy. orc fist not swing so fast. orc a bit woozy. orc not show any weakness .. clan must be proud of orc. me find one more kill ....

a strain; yeah, a easy kill now. me know all the strain weaknesses ... me hop on over ...BAM!! arrow in orc side ...
OUCH!

me turn to see who it is shootin orc without a warrant; it saquib and him in lowbie gear. some kind of green bow, and him move too fast for me to clearly get a shot. me fire off a blaster BAM! not much, him still walkin ... me fire stun, not work. me fire ORC SMASH and again little to nothing.

NOW ORC FURIOUS!!! me desperatly hit the wolf totem and begin runnin, this give time or me to shout to Jhaelle - me ask to come get this guy off me ... me get all the way to dion before Calliyhe show up and unclanned friend showed up. saquib dead but not by Calliyhe. by orc unclanned nice spellhowler friend. now Calliyhe askin wheres the fire? and again saquib comes back. him have patman who kill unclanned buddy - meanwhile saquib again fire at me. me STUN and amazing to me it worked!! Jhaelle friend Calliyhe swing big bad sword and red lights goes off. BAM! saquib down to pvp now. nobody red, saquib dead, and me take a break for the night.

[spudnik]

orc now over the hill, orc feels like old man; me se man dwarf with long grey beard - me not feel so old anymore.

me break out another case of ammo - this time orc buddies come to Catacomb and help me kill REAL mobs. orc buddy Kamakela and Hounoria the pretty human healer. Kama and me bustin faces, kama pull out bow to show orc how hard him can hit - hom do 1000 damage in single shot. me impressed. kind of.

me charge up, charge up, BLASTER to barrow monk. me hit 1200 damage. now kama roll on floor laughing. me and him great duo, Hounoria feel so left out. she have ntohing to do when we grouped up. she not care though, she always get her share of everything. then Chaille shows up and kama decides break up to two groups. him take Chaille, me take hounoria.

that fine. me can take on these guys with nothin but a wad of shots and lives all the time. that perfectly fine.

now hounoria a bit worried. she know me not all that powerful when just swingin fists. but she buff me up, me pop Bear totem and alagrity potion and now eye starts a bit twitchin. me addicted to speed long time, me go crazy with lots of speed, me must have more ... me LOVE speed ...

me ask if hounoria have Zerker yet ... she say no .. me a little upset .. that fine orc snap out of it, orc come to in a pile of bloody monks and skellies. Hounoria goin crazy tryin to heal, and root and sleep whatever come at me, almost blow up all her mana, but me kill all, with a WINDBALL to face then a stretch of swings that make bruce lee dizzy.

eventually, orc see human coming towards us, again in blue academy suit. me think it was light - him had maingauche and Shillien Elder trailing him both with same tag.

him challenge me to duel. hoho, never do this!!!!

me a bit scared, me know him have better buffs and likely more cash so probly better gear. me also cannot identify him level - he take on 4 mobs at same time, and healer never ONCE give him health.

me excersize restraint and decline duel. maybe me orc with bad english and short temper, but orc know when to NOT fight.

this guy try to take room away from me and hounoria now ...

hoho!!! never do this!!!!!

him say room is big enough for both of us.... hounoria secretly think it time to call some friends ....

nono, me not let that happen. me know enough to say him wrong, him know it, but him jerkoff. when him see no more mobs, and only way is to pvp for room, him will vanish.

and to hounoria surprise, me right. all the mobs is dead - now him ask again duel - me decline - him get tired and just go deeper.

woot for me!

orc and hounoria hunt more - hounoria get to 30 this time, a first for her! now she have new skills, and we both think it time to go back to dion. maybe it best to all take a break.

well, that all orc can take! me nearly out of shots, me avoid death and me get to 33 all in one day. this big day for orc and time to just sleep.

[Grazzt]

He he, excellent !!!!
That's a smart Orc you got here

[Sithlyn]

I thought it was better when you weren't using real world referances and kept it with all ingame knowledge. Still a great job Spud.

[spudnik]

ugh, this like watching pathetic elfs die. me sittin waiting at the track for slow old man to finish telling life story while him make me more shots.

me roll eyeballs, wish him would get on with more shots, less talk.

me stand up and ask "how many you got old man?" him say about 5k. me say "sell me what you made so far" and me buy'em up like nobody's business. me have important wyrms to kill.

him say "so where was i? ... oh yes!! the mountains of gludin... " and me stop paying attention. those mountains was paved over by orc 15 summer ago. this old man must be real old.

ugh, me could really use some alacrity about now. me love that stuff. orc stomach grumbles and dwarf makes pause in story. dwarf look at me funny ... me say "WANT FIST IN FACE DWARF? MAKE 'EM SHOTS!" and him scurry back to work. him make 10k shots in blur of hand. wow.

after all that me so tired, me just need to lie down.

[spudnik]

orc now has hunted all the fettered souls my fists can take. me poppin helin potions every other soul, this startin to take a beating now on orc wallet (made of windsus skin). orc remember the easy time me had with hounoria, me wish she could come help me out. bah, orc stop daydreamin and put fist in fettered soul face. now orc worked into half resentful frenzy; orc head back to Giran (me hate that damn town - too many dwarves... it CREEPY!) after a few kills. now orc not have any more shots, potions of alacrity or haste, nor healing. orc got nothin but borrowed blue suit and borrowed glowey fists. what orc gonna do?

me know still have to get to 40 before clan make me part of them. still need 40 then great cheif make me Tyrant. orc down on luck, money and supplies... orc fretting about what to do next. orc gonna drown sorrows with racing. me head to track.

me see strange darkelf - me know him from somewhere - not sure when or what ...

him say him Darkelf name, but orc cannot speak it. him say in orc it means ... Flaming Raindrops. me now understand a bit. with name of fire, orc give a bit respect. him have only black suit on, no weapon. him ask me to hold out hand. me take off glowey fists, and hold hands out palms up. big green saussages compared to him dark slender cold hands. man for guy with name means firey rain, him have cold hands.

into first hand, him place a long slender blade in a sheath. me a bit scared now ... what happening ....

him say this blade now its mine. me say "me not able to wield blade, only fist." him say him know. him have put instructions what to do with it inside this envelope. him tuck it into my belt. him say there is a gift for me at the Giran Warehouse. it was too big to haul here to meet me, someone might take it.

now orc eyes wide ... a gift? from darkelf to orc ... wow this monumental day! me put sword around waist and put back on my fists, me turn to darkelf again but him gone ...

me run around track lookin for him ... but him gone.

me shout to others me looking for FireRain. nobody know who i talkin bout.

ok, well all that is left for orc and all orc's future is in that gift at Giran warehouse. me port back to Giran by the track manager. me race to Warehouse... ugh, long lineup ahead of me, all of them dwarfies. me stand at the doors of th warehouse, wait as the line moves. suddenly a human say "hey ugly orc, what do you think youre doing?" me quell the urge to orcsmash him small pathetic frame into tiny bits ... me say "waitin in line"

him say "the line ends over THERE" and him point down the steps, out the narrow wall opening, me rush over, me see more dwarfs in line, it continue south up the steps to middle giran, me go to that spot, me see MORE dwarfs lined up all the way around the middle pillar of giran and finally stops line at Dawn Priest.

me quell urge to kill dwarfs ... stress level risen to monolithic proportions, but me quell the urge. me stand at end of line and see same pathetic human line up behind me.

me get dastardly plan ... me know how to get all stupid dwarfs out of line in a flash.... me pull out last 500 adenas from pocket ... me toss 3 out a stretch and watch 10 dwarfs scramble for it before it hit the ground. me quickly pop up 10 steps. orc knows this is too easy. me pop 3 more adena out the other side of the line and again a dozen dwarfs scramble for it. ZOOM up i goes. now me rounding pillar of giran, 10 dwarfs at a time all scrambling for meager pennies.

uh oh, now me hit a wall ... orc female in front of orc. she holding a red weapon with strange writing on it. me throw again 3 adenas and all the dwarfs in front of her scramble for it, but they get back to line before she moves up. ...

hmmmm... this is a pickle. me do it again just to see of she bat an eyelash.... sure enough she turn around ... "what do you think youre doing?" she say. me reply as suave as me can ... problem is, orc not suave, and orc staring at bosoms... "hommunnamunamunamuna-" and orc feels BIG pain on side of face. lady hit HARD.

with red weapon.

"WHAT THAT FOR!" me angrily say. but she so heated mad, she just wander off, muttering something under breath.

oh well, new place in line. and new dwarf line. me almost at the steps to the warehouse, me almost out of cash too. me toss out 3 more bucks and half the line moves to get it - orc dash to the doorway, in time to see the last few people in line get served and on their way.

me request package for Spudnik. dwarf say come out back.

so me follow dwarf out to back of warehouse. him open the vault and ask for some long number parcel for spudnik and all kinds of other small dwarfs come with boxes, bags, lots of stuff, lay it all down at me and run back inside.

now orc left to own devices, me open each package one by one. first one me find is a leather armor. this one have little green gems. it is white fabric, and there is a tag on the side of it - scrawled on it is Theca upper. me find the rest of the theca suit, me find a blue wolf leather armor suit, me find a big wood box. me open the latch on the box with big orc saussages and find golden coloured pair of fists. me try em on - they are heavy, but manageable.

me gather all together, me go inside again and the dwarfie ask me if me would like to deposit this in my own vault. me say OK, and hand him everything but the small black bag that jingled when it shook and the envelope that FireRain give me.

it cost more money than i can spare - me down to 100 adena. me pick open the bag a bit just to feel inside, me find exactly what me looking for, me pull out a grand in cash. dwarf say him never seen anyone pull out so much adena in one fist.

me only smile, me put it all in own vault and sit down to read the letter.....

[spudnik]

Brother Orc

You do not know the extent of your own powers. I have Dealt with your kind many times in the highest and lowest hands. It is with a heavy hand and a low brow that I bequeath to you the possessions I treasure. I know you have use for them and a home for them.

First, and foremost, the Fisted Blades. Let me tell you the story of these Fists, brother. It was in the youth of many years of peace ago that I began to use these fists as my own weapon. I had obtained my status as Summoner to the tetrarch when we trapped Baium. In those times, my fellows sought power through craftiness - both in the arcane and the craft of weaponry. We met a dwarf who told us he could bestow arcane power upon our weaponry and asked for Gemstones and soul crystals of varying quality to imbue these magic powers. When this dwarf saw my Soulless he marvelled at the evil that seemed to smoke from his eyes. He saw the skinny arms with razor sharp claws and knew instantly how to make my power and my summons power to increase substantially. He imbued my Fisted Blades with a certain haste that can be only acheived when the bearer's health has been considerably drained. He told me in order for it to work properly I must drain my own health. i figured it was a lie. How blind I was! Fighting Mirrors later that year, I discovered just how true the dwarf's words were. My health dropped low from the enchanted mirror and to my surprise, the fists became lighter - and I felt rage so terrible! I swung very fast and my power increased tremendously.

I pass these to you, as i know you will soon know the meaning of true power. Of true orcish Tangsu. You will strike harder, faster, and with blind fury. With these fists, you will be so much more.

Next is the suit of white armor. This is a suit of highly flexible and highly defensive leather called Theca. This is a gift not from mere Summoner to Tyrant. This is a gift from the Light. to wear this suit means your faintest breath is heard by Eva herself. There are elders, Orc. Elders youve never even heard of that can hear and restore. The elves are a powerful and fearsome healer, Orc. Get to know these ones and their comrades. After a while, you may notice your Orcish brethren to be brutish and petty - in these times, the children of Eva may be a power to you. To calm the furied fist, and ease the pain that war brings.

Finally, Orc, I give you a suit that was crafted specially for you. Centuries ago, when we trapped Baium in his tower, one of my Orc brethren fell. Eva could not restore, Shilen silenced all who tried and Paagrio nearly buried my friend in his own eternal flame. But I intervened - I asked Paagrio to give me his armor that his fight may not be for nought. Paagrio gave it to me but asked me to only let it to a suitable bearer. This is special armor, crafted by no dwarven hand.

And now it is yours. Blue Wolf one-piece leather armor. Bearing this suit you will be hard to pierce, and quick to regain your lost magicks.

There you have it, Orc brother. That is my story. I have seen the gods, I have lived my time in this world. You may next see me in the fabled halls of valhalla if that is where your tangsu will lead. I wish you peace, length of days, and happiness. Let no shadow deceive you, for my time is ended.

~Flaming Raindrops~

[spudnik]

Me take Fisted Blades to blacksmith in giran town. me ask him to put on Risk Evasion ability. him tell me price, me pay it, me not care about bar-goon. me need it badly.

Ever since me was a tiny tyke, me knew it was gonna happen. Me grow up, me get Monk, me go far away from parents and clan to seek fortune and adventure, me loose way, me come home. that how it is. me know this from long ago. me want to change it, but me cannot and me knows it.

Me in the ruins of Pavel by meself. one golem broke, drop herbs, me pick up and smash another one. simple like pie. me was taught skill from trainer but me hesitated to use it before. me know it was a very tricky skill, and one that causes harm to poor lil me; but me needs some dire help in Pavel ruin. orc figure what the hell. me use the skill.

it take some getting used to, body feel drained, but arms feel energised. me feel real sleepy when use this incantation. it not good to use all the time. trainer say never use it but in emergency ok.

suddenly after hunting a golem me wanted to sit down and heal a bit, but me cannot sit down! arms alive with crazy energy but legs weak as elf.

me swing fist at puny golem and before me knows it, golem is in shards. back is acheing, but arms so alive! me find the guts to try more, after a while me notice eyes starting to fail, but arms still going nuts! arms have own magic now?

me must stop a bit, me head spinning. me stop the incantation and arms again feel limp as they did before.

now whole body feel like rubber and me need to lie down. me make bed by tree and go to sleep.

morning comes, and me see ValerieRose. me say good morning Valerie (and snap at little kitte) and valerie say she have some supplies for me. me open wallet, valerie pull out a case of purple potions. me ask what are they? Val say they are something called GSAPS. me ask what they do ? Val say they make orc fight faster. wow, me take whole lot.

so me sittin there with 50 bottles of strange purple goo and nothin but time. me reach over, pick up one and open the top. me smell it *sniff* *sniff* it smell like feet!

puah! how this gonna make me fight faster? me take small sip... *gulp*and me eyes goes all funny. now arms feel tingly like last night.

but body feels nothing. only arms.

hoho, me think something dastardly all of a sudden. me start incantation for fist fury skill ... suddenly orc arms trembling with tinglies. orc put up the Puma totem ... now hands grips the fists tight like dwarf holds adenas... then all goes numb again. totem has worn down, and sip has been used up. me stop incantation...

me needs some help of a healer....

orc see new friend Cazaure again. last wek Cazaure come to heal me in these ruins, but today me have other plans. Cazaure must pick up all loot from golems, and me will tear through each one like papers.

Cazaure not like this idea, but say "okie dokie" and we head out.

me gulp down the whole bottle and toss bottle away. me begin the incantation, and me get puma totem ready... all ready! me feel incredible sensation in arms now and me go to town on golems.

at first Cazaure just stare ... him never see such great fury. me killing golems faster than pick up loot. lifestone drop ... me no see it, Caz take him eyes away from me to pick it up and when turn back to see me, GONE!

him turn around, him not see me, him a little scared. him turn again and SMASH! me hit golem beside Cazaure ready to shoot cannonball at Cazaure face.

Cazaure speaking ... something ... me not hear ... me strain to hear amid the soulshot explosions, the cannonball booms and the golem explosions ... me not hear.... me thinking about waging war on this Pavel guy all by own self.

suddenly me turn around ... Cazaure not around .... me deserted ?

me see smoking rubble and golem bits everywhere. adenas all on the ground, nobody but me. me stop incantation, me hurry over to bed by the tree, me curl up. me wonder what Caz was saying.

next morning me wake up, head is POUNDING! muscles all sore, me can barely stand. me make for Shuttgart city for some medecine. maybe it is the cold. Orcs is paagrio child, me like fire, not cold of Shuttgart.

me wonder what can cause this illness? me see friends Kilty and Cazaure and clannies in Giran city me ask what new - me get some standard replies, but lots of clannies and friends all have some adventure recently, and me not know about it.... me wonder why. me ask a few of them when they go on adventure, they say recently....

but me only spend a day in ruins of Pavel! how me not know of these adventures!

Caz come over to me after and say to me, me was not there one day, me was there one week.

...

me ... hunting ... one week? brethren try to tell me me on some bad bad stuff - me not respond to anyone while hunting there. some say me like a golem, no brains. orc nearly smash them, but resist.

orc scratch head...

Valerie sold me potions smell like feet.... this have something to do with it ?

some say yes, others shake head...

me go back to Shuttgart a sad Orc. me go to bed by the tree. me want to never wake up. me knows me will though.

me wake up next morning, still a lot of smelly purple feet potions left, me chug one down and go at the golems again. me able to think and hunt at same time. me feel effect is gone again, so me gulp down another.

and another.

not too long later me see me is out of smelly purple feet potions and me is angry as all fire of paagrio. me want it to come from sky and burn these golems. me put fist in rock!

me gotta find Val and get a fix. and get one me must or me put fists through Val throat.

Val hook me up with a few more... me take one for the trip to shuttgart. more smelly feet potions means faster hunting. and me cannot slowly kill.

[ValerieRose]

((OOC: SPUDY You're a genius... I even forgot I could incorporate the potion crafting to Val's witchcraft background since witches CAN craft potions *Tacklehugs the orc* )

*smirks* My potions smell like fish, if so. But maybe the orcish sense of smell, after a thousand golems destroyed, isn't that accurate.

But... I have good news from you, my dear green friend. I have just developed a new potion that in case you don't have the Prophet there with you, you can still recover your energy if needed. You know, for an emergency and things like that.

Let me know when you need more potions. The purple potion takes a little more to make, so I would have to prepare myself. The white potion is a little easier, if you need it.

And stop with this "fist through my throat" cause... I'm not as squishy as I might seem.

(OOC: This thread is awesome, Spudy, SO FUNNY!)

[spudnik]

(now for a slightly less orc narrated narrative. - 3rd person this time guys. no energy to think orc. ... i can explain spuds actions but im affraid you wont like it)

hand at his eye, rubbing, sitting by the tree, Spudnik felt each moment as an hour. his head abuzz with "she's coming soon.." "no, she has forgotten..." "i told her to bring lots ...." his hands fidgeting, is body itchy, every twitch of the tree in the breeze spins his head and each second makes him want to pound the witch into something dreadfully blue swimming in pus.

a touch of cold hit his eyebrow and Spud leapt to his feet, bellion cestus clenched and ready; dripping with the red of the soulshot. a snowflake.

spud threw his cestuses at the wall and hung his head, leaning on the wall momentarily. he slumped down into the snow sliding his back against the wall, and sighed a sigh so filled with a mixture of emotion that the trees themselves were unsure whether to sway or tremble.

he picked up some snow and fidgeted with it, but it melted in his heated palms which he noticed now for the first time were callous with the blisters of many broken fists. he remembered days not too long ago when he fought spiders, his encounter with the lizardmen, and the lost tribe of orcs near oren.

he noticed he had now created a mess in the early morning snowfall and one that will be easily tracked. such a clumsy fool to sit idle when enemies are so close. especially ones so difficult to hear as kitten paws.

and there was the spiders nearby too. just as Spud turned his head to catch a glimps of the spiders to his immediate left, Spud heard ValerieRose's voice. she had appeared as if from thin air and spud was scared so thoroughly that he leapt backward down the embankment and tumbled into the golem nest. his cestuses fell behind him and his bag of Soulshots spilled all down the side of the hill.

Valerie couldnt help herself, she began to giggle. she knew it would only hurt the situation, but giggled she did.

Spud clamored up the hill to the tree where he was lodged and got to his feet angry, alarmed, apalled, and nearly incomprehensible; saying things like "POTIONS! feed me, witch" to which she hastily pulled out a dozen.

"A dozen? ORC SAID BRING LOTS!"
"you know you cant afford that"
"CARES NOW THE WITCH FOR ORC? WITCH must think she really something special --" to which a large blue bipedal kitten flew over Valerie, landing between Spud and Valerie, hissing.
"i dont think you understand me, orcie. these are hard to come by. either you pay up, or you get nothing and i move on." at this the Feline in the Blue trousers let out a Lionlike snap.

"Alright Valerie, orc sorry, orc be good" and he let down his fists. he started to tell her how hard it had been to come upon money since Valerie first sold him the potions. as he told it, he was sad, angry, bitter, and resentful; but his orc training had taught him the self control he needed to hold back all emotion as he spoke. in doing so however he felt himself hurt a bit more inside.

...

(to be continued...)

(now for an explanation in case you were wondering how substance abuse could be written into an L2 story - well, i have suffered the effects of such addiction. on three fronts; videogame addiction from when i first quit L2 back when i was forced to do so for school. needless to say marks suffered greatly - worse than when i was playing. secondly on two different women that still bring a tear to my eye whenever i think about them. i loved them more than i can tell you all and it was a lot harder to quit them than quitting L2. ive not experienced substance abuse in terms of alcoholism, nor drug addiction for good reason. ive quit and suffered these effects before - i dont need another addiction to quit and permanently ruin myself.)

[ValerieRose]

(OOC: I said I?d only reply tomorrow, but I couldn't resist it
OOC2: Flynn is Valerie's Kai the Cat IC name).

Valerie shook her head, noticing the Orc's distress. She didn't really need the money, but it was good to be paid for a job well done, in this case, it was her ability to make the magic potions, and receiving a reward was always good. But, from anyone else she didn't know. Not from a clan member. She looked at the Orc for a few seconds, and nodded.

"Alright. Here's something", she started. "I will give you those potions and you don't worry about paying me back. But you have to promise me one thing", the young witch said. "I will not supply you with those anymore unless you try to fight the urge to have them".

She knew it would be hard, although she also knew her potions were harmless. In the sense that they wouldn't really do anything bad to the Orc physically. But she was concerned it might harm him psychologically more than anything.

The Warlock looked at her little cat with a nod. "No problem, Flynn. It will all sort out", she said, before releasing the bonds between her and the magical entity. "I will get those potions for you. Might take me a while since I'm out of materials, but if you don't promise me, I will NOT help you anymore". The young human was loud and clear. "I will then simply leave you to the doom your life will become".

THe way she said sounded almost like a prediction, one she didn't want to see coming true.

[spudnik]

(the punch of Doom story.)

Me sweating now. long day in Laboratory make tired. me chug some healing in a bottle, me feel better now. me break knuckles on robots and hands acheing. me take off bellions and store away. me go see orc council and ask for training. me wonder if anything new for orc.

him say me can learn new punch. one so powerful it may KILL me.

wow me intrigued.

him say this is REAL orc smash. now me really listen close.

him say gimme your best shot, punk. me say okie dokey. me ORC SMASH and hurl new punch at him gut.

him loose wind and fall over. me impressed. this guy not so tough as me thought before. him wimp. me dazed, no blood in orc head, me see all orc council is spinning and blurry. long faces, swaying like tree in hurricane ... this not good. enough of this and me truly will die.

me go out again and after a day me start swingin at more robots. me wonder how hard me can hit next golem. me use new punch skill.

BLAMMO

me hit so hard, robot momma feel it. golem is inside out, and me is dizzy like gotta sit down and breathe. me lost wind and me feeling like baium smack me upside face. ears ring from so loud scream me make. it louder than robot kablooie.

me never use this skill again. this dizzy business make trouble if me in sticky situation.

[cmykspliff]

i love this

[spudnik]

The lord of the Shuttgart Elven mage's guild summoned me one time long ago. Him say me must retrieve the power of the greatest magicks in all aden. long ago dark wizards were killed by the wild Pronghorns and the pronghorns ate their rotting corpses and drank thier stale blood until they developed mystical abilities too. Pronghorns multiply themselves as a defence mechanism.

Him say these pronghorns ate up all the best wizards and a secret book has been lost. me must go into the lair and uncover the book. me alone must do because me have NO magic skills.

me beg to differ but me say Okey Dokey and depart for Gatekeeper. Silly elves never listens to Orcses anyway.

Gatekeeper puts me at a cabin with some light surrounding it. me know where to go. pronghorns is north past the golems and East past the Spiders. me transform into wolf, me run fast, leap away from puny spiders and finally me sees Pronghorns and Gargoyles. aha! Gargoyles loves to try to shock orcses. me knows how to kill Gargoyles.

me focus, me feel arms twitch... me charge up more, arms is tingly... me charge the third time, now me eyes is twitchy ... charge one last time and then arms feel so HOT me pull out the Charge stones from pouch and HURL them at small group of Gargoyles. area gets HOT with fire for seconds but the Frozen lab is magic frost and fire goes out fast. now Gargoyles is comin my way. just like always. me take a sip of purple juice and whirl fists around. in a flash all gargoyles is sliced to bits at me ankles. me chuckle and head for pronghorn. him snort and steam come from nose. me say Gesundheit.

me make Puma transform and me swing deadly fast. me finish with Punch of Doom.

uh oh.

Pronghorn is vanish and now 6 more pronghorns is surrounding me. and me dizzy. me reach into pocket quickly, pull out some healing and make Wolf transform. me make running easy, but me hold healing in mouth now. a few hundred feet away, pronghornies is still chasin me, but me can take them now. me make Bear transform and now me much bigger orc. me shred the first two, me shock and burn next one, me shock all last ones until me a bleeding mess. all pronghorns is down and now so is me. last few minutes of life maybe. me find strength to pull out one more healing. me gulp it down. me snore on the cold frosty floor of the frozen lab.

maybe ten minutes passed. maybe ten years, me not know. me wake up in middle of frosty snowy blizzard at the sound of loud rocks falling. and coming closer ... ? but how ? suddenly me remember me in frozen lab, land of enchanted stones that look like golems.

me get to feet, dizzy, hungry. me grab some shreds of pronghorns carcass and head for nearest cave. me make fire with sparks from Soulshot. now me us in good hands. me cooks pronghorns flesh. it not taste so good. it smell like auntie GroolBk'hook feets after aunti have too many paagrio celebrations of Fire.

but me remember why me come. me must find book.

me set out again. me think this time maybe me not use Punch of Doom on pronghorn. maybe me just uppercut.

and so me did. and to me great surprise, no more pronghorns. me wonder...

me chop off pronghorn head and use antlers and head as disguise. me make Wolf transform, and walk into big frosty plain of pronghorns. me snort. other pronghorns look at me silly. me almost feel need to lift leg and proove me animal.

me see skelton of dark elf. me know this old skeleton because this one have some scrawled writing on skull. maybe this one priest. me find more bones in a corner of field, me search further. me find small cave opening and mother pronghorn inside. me take look around, no more pronghorns.

me quietly make Ogre transform and beat the pulp out of mamma pronghorn.

me search small cave... me see some clothing in corner, very old.

me leaf through it, me see old dusty tome. haha! success!! pronghorns can kiss orc big hairy toucas. me knows me cannot hide as Ogre. mae wait while spell wears off. me outsmarted the pronghorns and now me most famous orc in all shuttgart. me reach into pouch and pull out scroll me been keeping for long time. me read it out loud and WHOOSH me back in shuttgart town.

me get to elf and me have book in hand. some elfs look at me strange. me say "WHAT! ORC NOT ALLOWED READ BOOKS LIKE ELFS?" and elfs just snub noses.

me chuckle and talk to elder elf. him seem eager for book. too eager...

me say me keep book. me want to learn what it say before give it over. me have family of Darkelfs who can teach orc many things. and him eyes go wild.

him offer half a millions adena for book. that buy a lot of potions. me ask why it important.

him say this book is counter-magic book. this book teach spell how to drain away all magics from opponent. only very powerful wizards can do it.

orc never very good at magic anyway. me not need magic, so me not find it useful to keep book around. likely nobody at home powerful enough to use this anyway.

[spudnik]

today elder abyssal celebrant Olorae tell me me have a new apprentice. she say she see vision of young dark elf at shilen temple with great potential. she say him is dangerous swordsman but still nowhere near what he could be.

she say we go together to temple to see him.

we go. and me again feel that queasy feeling everytime me goes near that hand >.<

me never liked dark elf village. so gloomy.

we gets to the temple and we see him; him fighting keltirs and look like him been chew toy for a while. him clothes is tarnished and dirty, him look a little confused and amazed in me presence. me say sorry for fart.

him say it ok, and from there Olorae and me talkin to him find out him have a story to tell, but him lost memory.

short story i guess.

me say okey dokey and class begins. me teach him to use shots, me give him old bronze armors, and me watch him grow into mighty young darkelf. him much more fierce when me get done with him.

[spudnik]

:::The anticipation - 3rd person narrative this time :::

Spudnik clamored out of bed in his shuttgart home; today was the day. Today someone in Elmore showed up looking for Keys. he said his were all stolen by thieves as his caravan approached the city. Spudnik thought he knew which band of theives it was, and decided to head out and pummel them to get a chance at opening the stranger's lootbox. Spudnik headed for Giran, confident in himself, hoping to grab some healing in a can, and cheap purple juice. his dependency on the drug had indeed set in and he would forever be in need of it now. it was breaking him slowly.

Spudnik happened upon a store with healing, he grabbed what he could carry, and headed off for some purple juice which was the last of his earnings. he would now be penniless, and would require the Philosopher's stone to make some more money for his next trip into the wild.

he was hoping for a green stone, it would be the easiest money. but the blue one would be the easiest to craft and could be exchanged for his Dream Weapon; the Sobekk Hurricane.

adenaless, but with enough potionry to supply an army, he set out on his long run to shuttgart, he didnt even have the adena to teleport. fists clenched tightly, he remembered the words of FlamingRaindrops; how that day he had been given a small fortune, and how he vanished into thin air. unable to shake the thought, he sat down at the side of the road near Oren 's south stairs and began to regret his spending habits.

he was now living hand-to-mouth and he thought it ironic. a tyrant living on his fists.

Fear gripped him as he realised the Key may never be found. that the clan of Yeti he would soon abolish might not have been the theives of the keys. it dawned on him that his last days in aden may be upon him. if he could not fight, having no potions to support him, he would surely die. he realised how slack he had been towards his clan, and how slack he had been to himself.

when he had finally hit the bottom of his depression well, he lay down at the side of the road underneath the stairs and knew the end was coming. and it would all be his own doing. by the hand he had fought long and hard, and by the hand he would die. his own hands, in another twist of irony, would be the hands that killed him.

and this time there would be no Lysee to resurrect him. no Chaille to fly to his side. no olorae to raise the dead. he would see shilen just as FlamingRaindrops did so many years ago.

teeth clenched, he shed a tear of mixed sadness and hatred and denial. he stared at the wall behind him, leaned on it and slumped down crying himself to sleep.

[spudnik]

Me wakes up in the rain. outside Oren it rain all the time, me soaked - was asleep at the stairs.

me stroll in, me feel the coughing and sneezing start. Orc Brother Kamakela tell me we goin to SkyshadowMeadow for Pobby Blastin.

him know me LOVE to blast pobbies.

me stop at store for energy stones, me see Chaille gettin ready to go with us. then buddies Drakkos and another drunk dwarf (who call himself Ale) whip out poles and make rude gestures.

me giggle. little dwarf with big pole in place of weiner. it hilarious. then Orc Brother Kamakela whip'em out Great sword and hold it in front of crotch - Drakkos say "Small for Orc" and Kamakela nearly mop floor with drakkos. but it all in jest.

Young master Kyndelynn come with us and him have tough time HITTING pobbies. him complain a few times, but him never get hurt. me see to that. Kyndelynn joined by old friend ZhiOma the wizard and we have merry old time.

Kamakela run out get many pobbies. when him come chargin in me make focus, me make Bear totem and power of Soulshot... me HURL blaster and all pobbies goes OWIE.

yes, it wonderful day.

Kamakela quick to run out get more pobbies, him love running i guess. me wish i can teach him Wolf Totem for faster running, but him never listen. him trip over branch and tumble down hill a ways into BIG pile of pobbies. me hear orcish language that me think humans would take offense at and him come gasping back feet all stumbley. Chaille see him pain and make Avatar Body for whole group - except she not remember that all pobbies HATES fire so all jump on top of her!

me must act now, me HURL blaster not once but twice!! first blaster take down most of them, second one in short span only take out a couple, but that enough for rest of pobbies to be angry with me.

ALL pobbies left is jump on poor lil me. and down i goes. me winded, but Chaille is alive. that great. that all that matters. Chaille dies then all us is lost so me take one for the team but me not care.

me is Oroka. me care for nobody but me, now. except me not Oroka in the Darkness. me take Oroka title and throw to bears. me not want freedom, me like to be with family. and for this one, me glad to take some loss. this family is great.

me feel life again in lil arms of mine. me come to, and Brother Orc Kamakela kneel at me. him thank me for saving Chaille, and Chaille blushing. me say it fine. me glad to be here.

NOW GET MORE POBBIES!

[Aenya]

I love this. It must be hard to write with this narrative.

[spudnik]

aenya said:

I love this. It must be hard to write with this narrative.

actually all the 1st person narrative are actual events that happened In Game. the 3rd person stuff is my state-of-mind preparation to get myself back into the frame of mind i need to write the 1st person stuff.

if that makes any sense ...

[spudnik]

there is big stir in the Darkness recently. me ask orc brother Kamakela what going on, and him say the lost race of Kamael now free to roam Aden lands. him say it is militant race with big army. respectable warriors and fearsome magic. but they all full of dark magic and be evil.

me chuckle, this evil aden fit just fine for evil new race.

me never hear anything from now old race of Kamaels. me wonder why me never hear of them until today, but thought passes as lady Abbey and Kamakela and Chaille take me out to Ancient Battleground.

me see evil creatures travelling in fours. me see Succubuses and these tiny little statues. opps! it not statue, it moves! maybe it fairy with no wings. me say Hiya lil fella! and it smack me upside head.

WHAT! never smack orc face! and me STOMP on tiny fairy. it make *SQUASH* sound under treetrunk legs o' mine.

this fun place except for tiny fairies with no wings. them things secretly make me feel paranoid. like tiny spiders. or tiny ants. or those tiny worms with million legs. it make me look left and right ready to STOMP on everything that move.

someone in group suggest me make diversion tactic; me must dress in drag and do hoola dance.

me not think so. that funny thing to think about.

it come back to me how me getting older now, and time to get new fists. me know what me want. me see it everyday in Giran town. but me see pricetag and me know never see that kind of money. me must find way to put money towards new stuff. me must consult Drakkos for help. him know what hot and what not.

Orc Brother Kamakela tell me Darkness clan making me new set of jewellery for magic defence. me grateful. him know financial hardships, and Darkness clan so helpful to orc over the little while me with them. me knows this free gift. but me wonder what gonna happen next.

me thinking this as blasting little wingless fairies, and suddenly on the ground me see fragment of ... helmet ...

me pick up, ask abbey. she say it Dark Crystal helmet fragment. me need 13 to make helmet whole.

eyes light up wide... this... this too good to be true. me shove in pocket and Kamakela bring more for blastin. me all the time now hoping for more fragments. me ask abbey everytime me see somethin strange on ground. sometimes it only piece of charcoal.

me make this helmet and then all Dark crystal armor. new clothes expedition now underway!

[spudnik]

me meet Elies at track one day. she little dwarf girl. she say she give me good grade A type armor if me give her some monies and my Blue leather wolf suit. she want only the shirt and pants. she show me she give me boots and gloves and shirt and pants of armor called Nightmare. she say it smart armor. when smack things it GIVE me health!

wow this indeed smart armor.

me 61 and me knows me getting stronger everyday, but me not getting tougher. me still just orc, pierce easy, cut easy. and monsters in this world getting harder to hurt. orc brother Kamakela say this OK armor. him like how it look and it should help me to keep alive. Brother Cazaure say same. so me make the deal.

now me go into Giran town to find the Helmet, and me find a few, for good price. me buy one and go try out new armor with Orc Sister Shereazar. SHE bloodthirsty just like me. SHE wearing Nightmare heavy armor and she love it. She always have what me call blind healer. never on time, this one. but she give good support with magic, me satisfied with that. me not notice much speed difference between blue leather wolf armor and new nightmare armor. but monsters hit just as hard, it seem. down in catacomb me get knocked unconscious.

so, that not fun, maybe this not-so-smart armor as me thought. dumb like big orc.

well, new friend Koyasha and Lady Amelissan needs new academy armor, so Drakkos set me as sponsor and we go do quests. first Amelissan. she is only oracle but knows how to hurt things. she learn from Koyasha. me have surprise for Koyasha.

we finish quests and me ask Koyasha if she ready for surprise. him say ".... "

me pull out long slender box, and extend it to Koyasha. inside is +4 Katana duals. me say NOT OPEN UNTIL GRADUATE ACADEMY.

and she say ok. me giggle a bit for excitement.

so me sitting in giran selling bunch of junk; someone buy bit here, bit there, me not make much money, not sell all. suddenly Cazaure come running. him say him have gift for me. sort of loan, me must one day pay back, and me greedily accept.

him had hands behind back, and when him pull hands around to show what inside, he holding Dragon Grinders.

me jaw hit floor.

me cannot pay this back very quickly. this very expensive gift. me know this is Pa'Agrian Karma. give and receive, kill and be killed.

me see the bonuses given by the Dark Crystal leather armor from another dwarf. him say it MUCH better than smart armor. me not so sure, me think me need Caz around now semi-permanently for buffs at the very least regardless of armor.

me wonder if a tattoo might help me be more tough. this dragon grinder can receive Health bonus when me get money for it. me see long arduous road of money making ahead. a long life of poverty thereafter. me not oracle and me can see this. me wonder how much more oracles can see.

me must speak with more people and find the path me must take to be strong, tough, and fast. me know most of will come with help, but me not know if this kind of help will be able to flow in Pa'Agrian Karma. already me know some people going to be spellsingers and be hydro blastin the same as me with firestorm. water to fire, the karma is there but me not see the other side of this financial debacle. time will tell, and Pa'Agrio will have his way. in the meantime me just sit and sell wares me pick up along travels.

[Sithlyn]

Spudnik is having some great adventures and this has got to be one of the funniest continuing stories I've read in ages.

<starts pondering how to get Sithlyn in as at least a cameo for one of these adventures>

[spudnik]

((oh dont you worry, sithy, MUAHAHAHAHA!))

Me see Jhaelle dwarf also selling stuff but dressed differently. me see she now have White armor.

me ask what this new armor, and Jhaelle say it Majestic.

wow, dwarf royalty, then. jhaelle say no, Majestic is Name of armor. and she stick out tongue.

heh, well, how Jhaelle find this new armor me not know, so me ask. she say Sithlyn borrow this armor from jhaelle for long time before and now jhaelle take it back.

suddenly me get a bit nervous... somewhere is naked sithlyn dancing like drunken fool.... me shudder.

me try to shake mental image, but NOT WORKIN!

glance over to old man dwarf beside me and for brief moment me think HIM naked too!

GAAH!! too many naked people! and me take all crack me has and gulp down as fast as possible. now me will not remember today events, me hope. but sithlyn not stay the same. me think next time me see him me gonna keep hand on eyes and ask if have clothes first.

[Jhaelle]

Hehehe!

[Sithlyn]

So much less glorious than I was picturing and still so funny at the same time. ;D

[Aenya]

Ahaahahah that had to be the funniest bit so far XD Gogogogo Spudnik!