Post by spudnik on Apr 28, 2014 22:22:23 GMT -8
Spudnik of late had been quite withdrawn. he locked himself in his room, lit his pipe and sat cross legged on the floor in total silence.
moments came and went, days passed. everyone did what they were doing and carried on.
but Spudnik sat. some tried to open the door but could not. some knocked and received no answer. some feared. none were met with any sign of life.
it began slowly. breathing in, he wafted the smoke, gently breathing out he released more of himself into the room. eventually it was Spudnik sitting abreast Spudnik. Spudnik opened his eyes.
Spudnik deftly produced a dagger, but Spudnik vanished.
Once more Spudnik sat and breathed the smoke. In and Out. In and Out. Eventually Spudnik appeared once more.
Spudnik made no motion but closed his eyes and continued breathing.
Spudnik began to speak during the breathing out.
the first word was Temet. the second word was Nosce. an eternity later, Spudnik realized he was speaking now with a projection of his soul.
Spudnik was not dreaming, nor hallucinating, but had finally relaxed to the point of elation. Spudnik-the-inner-orc had come out to consciously give counsel and direction.
"we have suffered through wounds. we have suffered through hardships. we have grown bonds. we have broken bonds. we choose the lie that we war the world around us. it is not the war of the world we can win. it is not the right war to fight. we fight the elfs, the humans and the fallen orc. we fight the dragons. we fight the giants. we fight because we do not know to fight ourself. we do not have that instinct. we will fight now for the control of ourself."
Spudnik-the-inner-orc then pulled an impossibly large spear from under his bracer. He pointed it at the sky in a defiant cry of battle. Spudnik only took in another, very long and slow breath. as he did so, Spudnik-the-inner-orc moved slower and slower; the mighty spear bearing down upon him froze in mid arc. Spudnik was at a crossroads.
On the one hand, Spudnik would never cause himself physical harm on purpose. on the other hand he also would never put his mind through torture on purpose. Spudnik could see the point of the spear held so near his head. He knew the only way to gain control of his self was to test himself. his mind was always at an advantage to the controversy of everyday life. he needed an equalizer to his self, and he knew there was only one who could balance himself out; in the peace of the frozen bit of time, he blissfully closed his eyes again and slowly exhaled. the blown smoke formed a new figure in the mist. a new orc appeared. it was Spudnik again, in a white and gold armor, with a spear to match. this new figure pointed his own spear underneath the spear about to come crashing down, halting its movement.
Spudnik continued to sit, and breathe, as the two figures fought. when one stabbed the other, the wound only let a puff of smoke out, before healing instantly. it was clear that now Spudnik had a chance at closure; now he would have a way of fighting, if not overcoming his own orc nature so long as these two fought within himself. sometimes one would win, other times the other would win. it only meant that his violent orc self could not permanently be erased or defeated but only sometimes repressed.
"when next we point the claw to fight, we do so knowing we have overcome the desire to fight the world. we do not fight the war. we pick up weapons when we are challenged and we have already won, for we have fought the fight against ourself. we exist now to bring the fight-of-self to the people. we must work to be the mirror to let others see themselves."
moments came and went, days passed. everyone did what they were doing and carried on.
but Spudnik sat. some tried to open the door but could not. some knocked and received no answer. some feared. none were met with any sign of life.
it began slowly. breathing in, he wafted the smoke, gently breathing out he released more of himself into the room. eventually it was Spudnik sitting abreast Spudnik. Spudnik opened his eyes.
Spudnik deftly produced a dagger, but Spudnik vanished.
Once more Spudnik sat and breathed the smoke. In and Out. In and Out. Eventually Spudnik appeared once more.
Spudnik made no motion but closed his eyes and continued breathing.
Spudnik began to speak during the breathing out.
the first word was Temet. the second word was Nosce. an eternity later, Spudnik realized he was speaking now with a projection of his soul.
Spudnik was not dreaming, nor hallucinating, but had finally relaxed to the point of elation. Spudnik-the-inner-orc had come out to consciously give counsel and direction.
"we have suffered through wounds. we have suffered through hardships. we have grown bonds. we have broken bonds. we choose the lie that we war the world around us. it is not the war of the world we can win. it is not the right war to fight. we fight the elfs, the humans and the fallen orc. we fight the dragons. we fight the giants. we fight because we do not know to fight ourself. we do not have that instinct. we will fight now for the control of ourself."
Spudnik-the-inner-orc then pulled an impossibly large spear from under his bracer. He pointed it at the sky in a defiant cry of battle. Spudnik only took in another, very long and slow breath. as he did so, Spudnik-the-inner-orc moved slower and slower; the mighty spear bearing down upon him froze in mid arc. Spudnik was at a crossroads.
On the one hand, Spudnik would never cause himself physical harm on purpose. on the other hand he also would never put his mind through torture on purpose. Spudnik could see the point of the spear held so near his head. He knew the only way to gain control of his self was to test himself. his mind was always at an advantage to the controversy of everyday life. he needed an equalizer to his self, and he knew there was only one who could balance himself out; in the peace of the frozen bit of time, he blissfully closed his eyes again and slowly exhaled. the blown smoke formed a new figure in the mist. a new orc appeared. it was Spudnik again, in a white and gold armor, with a spear to match. this new figure pointed his own spear underneath the spear about to come crashing down, halting its movement.
Spudnik continued to sit, and breathe, as the two figures fought. when one stabbed the other, the wound only let a puff of smoke out, before healing instantly. it was clear that now Spudnik had a chance at closure; now he would have a way of fighting, if not overcoming his own orc nature so long as these two fought within himself. sometimes one would win, other times the other would win. it only meant that his violent orc self could not permanently be erased or defeated but only sometimes repressed.
"when next we point the claw to fight, we do so knowing we have overcome the desire to fight the world. we do not fight the war. we pick up weapons when we are challenged and we have already won, for we have fought the fight against ourself. we exist now to bring the fight-of-self to the people. we must work to be the mirror to let others see themselves."
